Having social connections is an essential element of happiness. The Harvard Study of Adult Development has been conducting research since 1938, tracking 724 men, their wives, and now their descendants. As revealed in his TED Talk, Robert Waldinger, the director of the study, found that good relationships keep us healthy and happy.
- Social connections keep us healthy, while loneliness is detrimental to both our physical and mental health and can shorten our lifespan.
- The quality of these connections, rather than the quantity, is what matters. Affectionate and nurturing relationships, as opposed to those with endless conflict, are protective.
- Building good, warm relationships can help protect our bodies and our brains.
We all know this, but how often do we nurture relationships in the age of devices and apps that are called “social,” as well as during global pandemics? Relationships need extra attention in these distracting times. Perhaps we should prioritize face-to-face time with people every week. This time is sacrosanct, like physical exercise and healthy eating.
Why do this? Why prioritize relationships over learning new skills or working harder?
- Building warm relationships can reduce stress. Ask yourself, “Who could you call at 2am if you were sick or scared?” Having just 2 or 3 people on your list is enough for healthy living.
- Any warm relationship can fulfill this need. It could be a partner, friend, family member, colleague, barista, or hair stylist. Even casual conversations with strangers can increase our happiness levels.
- Social fitness involves nurturing these relationships regularly. Be proactive and schedule walks, coffee time, or try new hobbies. Instead of Zoom or meetups, try calling people on the phone for a 30-minute catchup before the workday starts or when both of you are cooking.
- Try new activities like taking a class, exploring a new hobby, or discovering a new area in your hometown.
Challenge yourself to reach out to a person who is important to you but with whom you haven’t connected in the past 6 months. Consider sending them a quick text to plant the seeds for future connection. If you come across something that would interest them, share that information. Who are the 2 or 3 people who could benefit from hearing from you?
Further study:
- Robert Waldinger TED Talk: What makes a good Life?
- Robert Waldinger TED Interview: The Secret of a Happy Life
- Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz book: The Good Life
Copyright © 2023 Devashri Gupta. All rights reserved.
