If you’ve ever felt like you were living someone else’s life, this story is for you.
There’s something beautiful about how people change throughout their lives. I’ve been captivated by this dance of transformation: how sometimes it creates distance in our relationships, while other times it weaves us closer together in ways we never expected.
I’ve changed. I can trace back to eight years ago when everything I thought I knew was turned upside down. My entire value system faced a reckoning that sent me down what felt like a winding, uncertain path. But recently, that path has become beautifully clear. In the most wonderful way, I’ve been returning to my younger self, finding a balance where every aspect of who I am gets to shine equally bright.
This journey meant letting go of some friendships, which was painful but necessary. Yet surprisingly, it deepened others in ways that filled my heart. I was eager to understand this transformation, and what I discovered was both simple and profound: I had clarified my values. I released the ones that no longer served me and strengthened those that truly mattered.
I let go of what I now realize were borrowed dreams: the common goals that society had handed to those of us who came of age at the end of the 20th century. Growing up in the 80s tells you everything you need to know: the era of “greed is good” and trickle-down economics, where success was measured in efficiency and bottom lines.
My career spanned the turn of the century, where I became obsessed with efficiency, best practices, and finding “the right way” to do everything. What a contrast to my childhood in the flower power decade I was born into, when I was endlessly creative, exploring, absorbing everything with wonder. I never noticed the shift until I hit an unmovable brick wall.
That wall was the shattering realization that everything I’d been taught about efficiency and success was largely smoke and mirrors. I came to a complete stop, as if waking from a decades-long trance, forced to confront the uncomfortable truth that much of what I’d pursued was hollow.
But here’s what I’ve learned: I have no regrets. Regret feels wasteful to me now, not the efficient use of energy I once prized, but truly unproductive. Instead, I’ve discovered the wisdom of pausing regularly to reassess, to pivot when needed, and to try novel approaches with curiosity rather than fear.
So, I’ve traded my old pursuit of efficiency and rigid best practices for something far more alive: experimentation, small meaningful changes, iterative progress, and constant realignment with my true values and goals. This approach feels more adaptable, more human, more real.
I named my company “Learning To Be”, and those three words capture everything. It’s about rediscovering the art of being, helping others reconnect with their authentic selves, especially for those of us who spent decades running around like frantic chickens, always doing but never stopping to understand who we really were. It’s not about choosing being over doing, we need both. It’s that most of us had simply forgotten how to be genuinely human, deeply kind, and truly respectful.
Now I have a new mission, and with not that many years stretching ahead, it feels urgent and exciting: exploring the emotional, psychological, and spiritual layers of life that I’d neglected for so long. I find myself envying artists who live naturally in this rich inner world. I think back to that little girl who painted endless landscapes with stubby crayons and transformed cereal boxes into towering skyscrapers with careful cuts and strips of tape.
At the end of high school, I seriously considered becoming an architect. Before age ten, I dreamed of being an artist. (I don’t let myself wonder “what if”, that’s a path never traveled, and dwelling there serves no one.)
Interestingly, just before turning 40, I attended an architecture school open house, genuinely considering going back for that degree. But when I found myself surrounded by eager 18-year-olds with their parents, I realized that door had closed.
The path I’m on now was chosen eight years ago, and here’s what’s remarkable: it took 25 years in the corporate world, 25 years of chasing efficiency, for me to discover that life’s most important questions don’t have single, neat answers. That brick wall crumbled like magic, opening onto Diagon Alley, offering me the gift of an entirely new vision into a new world.
When you can imagine a different world, even when the path isn’t clear, something beautiful happens. You begin walking toward it step by step, one small movement at a time. And because you remember the old world that didn’t work, you run toward this new one with renewed enthusiasm, boundless creativity, and genuine excitement.
Maybe you recognize this feeling, the sense that you’ve been sleepwalking through a life that doesn’t quite fit. The journey back to yourself is the most important adventure you’ll ever take. What would happen if you gave yourself permission to remember who you were before the world told you who to be?
If you’d like some support on this journey, I’d love to explore how coaching might help you move forward. Book a complimentary call – no pressure, just a conversation about what’s possible for you: https://L2BAppointments.as.me/IntroWebsite
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