A Journey Back to Your Authentic Self
Have you ever wondered who you would have become if life hadn’t pulled you in unexpected directions? I’m currently exploring this question using what I call the Retrospective Framework, a tool borrowed from my twenty years in technical project management.
When Life Changes Everything
Just before my seventh birthday, my entire world transformed. I changed continents, countries, languages, and climates all at once. It’s a familiar story for many immigrants, yet each journey is deeply personal. Mine happened during a pivotal moment in history when world powers were shifting, and we stood at the birth of our technological era.
My childhood, like my father’s before me, carried the simplicity of the 20th century. But somewhere along the way, that seven-year-old girl became lost in a fog of decades, influences, and societal expectations. For years, I caught only glimpses of her in fleeting moments, never taking the time to truly reconnect.
Everything changed this past summer. After watching several films and shows that explored characters grappling with their identities, I found myself asking the same profound questions: Who am I really? How have I evolved? And perhaps most importantly, what parts of my authentic self have I lost along the way?
The Art of Self-Discovery
One thing is still crystal clear: that seven-year-old desperately wanted to be an artist. Having experienced such dramatic cultural and geographical shifts, I instinctively searched for the universal threads that connected all human experiences. Art was my language of connection.
Yet life had other plans. The confident little girl who dreamed of creating beauty became a woman who built her career in the technical world instead. Art disappeared from my life entirely. Only after decades of corporate life did I rediscover the joy of museums, and just recently, I picked up watercolor brushes again. The artist was still there, waiting patiently to be remembered.
This revelation made me wonder: how much of who we become is truly intrinsic and authentic, and how much is shaped by external pressures and societal expectations?
Beyond Job Titles and Labels
When we meet someone new, we typically share our name, job title, industry, city, and maybe a hobby or two. But do these surface-level descriptors really capture who we are? I don’t believe they do.
Our truest selves emerge through the values that remain consistent throughout our lives, the innate talents we possess, and those intangible qualities that speak to our character. I often wish we described people the way Victorian and Regency novels did, focusing on character traits, moral compass, and the essence of their being rather than their achievements or affiliations.
Your Turn to Explore
If someone asked you to describe who you really are, which approach would you choose? Would you list your accomplishments and roles, or would you dig deeper into your personality traits, core values, and natural abilities? How does it feel to consider this question?
I believe people would have a much clearer, more authentic picture of you through your intrinsic characteristics rather than your job title and industry. These deeper qualities reveal the person you’ve always been, beneath all the layers life has added.
The Retrospective Framework: Your Path to Rediscovery
Here’s where magic lives. In technical project management, we end every successful project with a retrospective: What went well? What would we change? What will we never do again? This simple yet powerful process creates wisdom from experience.
What if you applied this same framework to your own life? What if you could look back at your journey and rediscover the authentic self that’s been there all along?
The process is both challenging and rewarding. It requires significant cognitive energy to remember details: What did you love as a child? How did you naturally behave? What values guided you then, and have they changed or remained constant? Most importantly, how did your younger self envision your future, and how did external influences reshape that vision?
This retrospective journey isn’t about regret or recrimination. It’s about integration and rediscovery. It’s about honoring both who you were and who you’ve become, while consciously choosing who you want to be moving forward.
Ready to begin your own identity retrospective? Start with one simple question: What did you dream of becoming before the world told you what was practical, profitable, or possible? Your authentic self is still there, waiting to be rediscovered and celebrated.
The seven-year-old artist in me is grateful we finally found each other again. Who are you waiting to meet?
If you’d like some support on this journey, I’d love to explore how coaching might help you move forward. Book a complimentary call – no pressure, just a conversation about what’s possible for you: https://L2BAppointments.as.me/IntroWebsite
Copyright © 2025 Devashri Gupta. All rights reserved.
