With a new year, many people create goals for themselves. These goals can take us in new directions or help us develop. In a month or two, 90% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned. In previous years, I abandoned so many resolutions by mid-March that I stopped setting resolutions for the New Year. What prevents us from accomplishing many of these resolutions? Let’s look at the starting point of where we are and who we are.
Where we are: Our current situation may not be ideal, so we hope to change something. So far, this is noble and positive. Who we are: This may not be clear to many people. Something is not working, and we set another goal, often an “external” goal. If I do “xyz” then I can achieve this goal (i.e. exercise more, be more patient, learn a new skill). But who do you have to be to move in an entirely different direction or try something fresh? Are there hidden hurdles that derail you?
Many attributes contribute to our identity. Our roles as children, siblings, friends, parents, or employees. Our physical characteristics (height, gender, race), mental traits (strong-willed, extrovert, hyper-achiever), or groups we align with like national citizenship, political party, or religion. In the modern world, we tend to introduce ourselves with our name, job title, and company. Some of us have created marketing tag lines to brand ourselves, like, “I help leaders create meaningful change in their organizations and themselves.”
“Identity formation involves three key tasks: Discovering and developing one’s potential, choosing one’s purpose in life, and finding opportunities to exercise that potential and purpose.” Read more about identity: Psychology Today
We make choices based on what we value in life. If we are unhappy or stressed, we can examine how closely we live according to what we value.
To uncover hidden corners of our personalities, we are going to have to dig deeper to discover both the characteristics that benefit us (those who are natural salespeople or those who are organized without any difficulty) and those that hinder us (are we stressed out because we try to please others instead of pleasing ourselves?)
- Develop self-awareness and self-knowledge so that we can recognize our true selves and express our authentic self
- Self-acceptance and self-love should be nurtured regularly to live as our authentic self
The first step to expressing your entire self genuinely is to gain self-awareness, mindfulness, and acceptance of yourself. What we do or don’t do is influenced by who we are. By focusing on the values that shape our identity we can overcome any hurdles or blind spots that may prevent us from reaching our goals.
Copyright © 2023 Devashri Gupta. All rights reserved.
